{"id":94692,"date":"2024-10-16T11:45:35","date_gmt":"2024-10-16T04:45:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/?p=94692"},"modified":"2024-10-16T11:45:35","modified_gmt":"2024-10-16T04:45:35","slug":"a-cat-dies-and-goes-to-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/a-cat-dies-and-goes-to-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"A cat dies and goes to heaven&hellip;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>God meets him at the gate and says, \u201cYou have been a good cat all of these years.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cAnything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.\u201d\n</p><p>The cats says, \u201cWell, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.\u201d\n</p><p>God says, \u201cSay no more.\u201d\n</p><p>Instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.\n</p><p>A few days later, six mice die and go to heaven.\n</p><p>God meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat.\n</p><p><img fetchpriority='\"high\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"aligncenter' size-full wp-image-94696 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/legendstitch.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/cat-dies.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"526\"' height='\"789\"' srcset='\"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/cat-dies.jpg' https: sizes='\"(max-width:'>\n</p><p>The mice said, \u201cAll our lives we\u2019ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cIf we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn\u2019t have to run anymore.\u201d\n</p><p>God says, \u201cSay no more.\u201d\n</p><p>And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.\n</p><p>About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing.\n</p><p>The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow.\n</p><p>God gently wakes him and asks, \u201cHow are you doing? Are you happy here?\u201d\n</p><p>The cat yawns, stretches and says, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve never been happier in my life,\u2026\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cThose Meals on Wheels you\u2019ve been sending over are the best!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</p><p>God meets him at the gate and says, \u201cYou have been a good cat all of these years.\u201d \u201cAnything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.\u201d The cats says, \u201cWell, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.\u201d God says,\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":94696,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[375],"class_list":{"0":"post-94692","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes","8":"tag-jokes-funny-laugh"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/cat-dies.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94692"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":94698,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94692\/revisions\/94698"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/94696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p>