A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.\n
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. \n
\u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d he says. \n
\u201cI\u2019m having a heart attack,\u201d cries the woman. \n
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he\u2019s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, \u201cDaddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted\u2019s hiding in your closet and he\u2019s got no clothes on!\u201d \n
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. \n
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally n***d, cowering on the closet floor.\u201cYou rotten SOB,\u201d says the husband, \u201cmy wife\u2019s having a heart attack and you\u2019re running around n***d scaring the kids!!!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
JOKE: Man Comes Home Early A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. \u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019m having a heart attack,\u201d cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":118657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-79162","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Man-Comes-Home-Early.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79162","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79162"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79162\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118662,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79162\/revisions\/118662"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/118657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}