Three tortoises, Rodney, Roger and Gary, decide to go on a picnic.\n
Rodney packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.\n
The trouble is that the picnic site is 10 miles away.\n
So, it takes them 10 days to get there.\n
When they get there Rodney unpacks the food and beer.\n
\u201cOk Gary give me the bottle opener.\u201d\n \u201cI didn\u2019t bring it,\u201d says Gary. \u201cI thought you packed it,\u201d\n Rodney gets worried, he turns to Roger, \u201cdid you bring the bottle opener?\u201d\n Naturally, Roger didn\u2019t bring it.\n So they\u2019re stuck 10 miles from home without a beer bottle opener.\n Rodney and Roger beg Gary to go back for it.\n But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.\n After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.\n So Gary sets off down the road at a steady pace.\n 20 days pass and he still isn\u2019t back and Rodney and Roger are starving, but a promise is a promise.\n Another 5 days and he still isn\u2019t back, but a promise is a promise.\n Finally they can\u2019t take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each,\n and just as they are about to eat it,\n Gary pops up from behind a rock and shouts\u2026\n \u201cI KNEW IT!\u2026. I\u2019M NOT BLOODY GOING!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Three tortoises, Rodney, Roger and Gary, decide to go on a picnic. Rodney packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the picnic site is 10 miles away. So, it takes them 10 days to get there. When they get there Rodney unpacks the food and beer. \u201cOk Gary give me\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":71168,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Three tortoises, Rodney, Roger and Gary, decide to go on a picnic. Rodney packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches....","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-71167","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Three-tortoises-go-for-a-picnic.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=71167"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71167\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/71168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=71167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=71167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=71167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}