{"id":120242,"date":"2025-04-02T09:18:45","date_gmt":"2025-04-02T02:18:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/?p=120242"},"modified":"2025-04-02T10:11:48","modified_gmt":"2025-04-02T03:11:48","slug":"my-mom-thought-no-man-was-good-enough-for-me-until-one-invited-her-on-a-date-story-of-the-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/my-mom-thought-no-man-was-good-enough-for-me-until-one-invited-her-on-a-date-story-of-the-day\/","title":{"rendered":"My Mom Thought No Man Was Good Enough for Me Until One Invited Her on a Date \u2014 Story of the Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

At 37, I thought I could finally date in peace until my Mom crashed dinner with a list of rules\u2026 and somehow ended up on a date with my boyfriend.
\n $\"\"$ I always knew I had a mom. But sometimes, it felt like my mom was my whole life. I was 37, but that didn\u2019t stop her from asking me every single day:\n

“Are you wearing warm socks?” or “Are you sure he looked at you with respect and not… interest?”\n

$\"\"$ \n

I worked in a museum, adored art history, lived in my own apartment, had a bank account, and had two degrees… Yet every time I saw “Mom calling” on my phone, I instinctively straightened my posture.\n

She controlled everything. From when I should go to bed to what color I painted my nails.\n

Once, I ordered salmon delivery, and 20 minutes later, she called.\n

“I saw him go into your house. Was that him?”\n
“Mom, are you spying on my house?”\n
“I just sat in the car nearby. In case of suspicious movement.”\n
She had binoculars. And a notebook. She called it “just in case.”\n
As a child, it was cute. At 20, it got annoying. By 30, I began to question our “normal.”\n
At 37, I met Theo.\n
For the first time in my life, I didn\u2019t tell her right away.\n
It was my first grown-up secret. And, of course, it lasted exactly three days. Until Mom ruined everything.\n
But I\u2019ll tell you that in a moment.\n
***
\nI was preparing for my dinner with Theo. I baked a pie I found online, not from Mom\u2019s sacred recipe book.\n
Even if it came out a bit burnt and the chicken was a little dry \u2014 those were my mistakes. My life.\n
I could already imagine my mother\u2019s face if she saw the meal \u2014 a guaranteed explosion. I smiled quietly to myself while checking the candles.\n
A week earlier, she declared, “I want to meet him. In person. At my house. At the table. With my questions.”\n
“Mom, let me be an adult for once. I\u2019ll decide when to introduce you.”\n
She backed off for once. It felt odd, but I didn\u2019t think much of it. Big mistake.\n
That night, Theo came over for the first time. He brought tulips, non-alcoholic wine (knowing I was tired after work), and a cake from the bakery I always visit during lunch.\n
$\"\"$ \n
“I just wanted to get everything right,” he smiled, setting the plates.\n
“Theo, with you, it always feels right.”\n
Something warm and calm bloomed in my chest. We talked for hours. Laughed. Dreamed.\n
“Imagine… a little house by an old lighthouse,” he said.\n
“And in the basement \u2014 an archive of old love letters.”\n
“You\u2019d preserve them, and I\u2019d write new ones.”\n
Candles were burning low. Music hummed softly. He touched my hand.\n
“I thought after all the heartbreaks, nothing would ever happen again. And then you came along…”\n
And at that exact moment…\n
$\"\"$ \n
“ACHOO!”\n
From the closet. We froze.\n
“You\u2019re not alone?” Theo shot me a look.\n
I got up. Opened the closet.\n
“Mooom?!”\n
She sat in the dark. With a headlamp. And a thermos.\n
“What… what are you doing?!”\n
“Oh, hi! I was just checking if you\u2019re storing things in your closet without lavender,” she mumbled, not even trying to sound convincing.\n
“You broke into my apartment?!”\n
“I was just making sure. Listening. Evaluating. I didn\u2019t interfere!”\n
Theo, somehow, still managed to smile politely.\n
“Good evening. I\u2019m Theo. Very nice to meet you.”\n
“Theo. Short. Like most male patients,” Mom said, sitting on the couch. “Sit. Let\u2019s get to know each other.”\n
I wanted to run. But Theo sat down. Bravely.\n
And the interrogation began.\n
“Do you have a job?”\n
“Yes. I teach literature…”\n
“Do you work 9 to 5?”\n
“Flexible hours.”\n
“So, no structure. Got it. Do you drink alcohol?”\n
“A glass of wine, sometimes…”\n
“Sometimes means regularly.”\n
$\"\"$ \n
“Mom…”\n
“Quiet, Eliza. I\u2019m asking.”\n
Then she turned back to him again, “How many women before my daughter?”\n
“I… excuse me?”\n
“Are you deaf?”\n
“No, I just think that\u2019s a bit…”\n
“You should always think. Before approaching a woman with serious intentions.”\n
Theo looked at me. As if to ask, “Is this a joke?”\n
I tried to say with my eyes, “No. This is my life.”\n
Mom stood up. “Now, a test.”\n
“What?” we both said.\n
“Wipe the table. With a sponge. No streaks. If there\u2019s even one mark \u2014 you\u2019re not for her.”\n
“Mom, enough!”\n
I was desperate and angry. But to my greatest surprise…\n
$\"\"$ \n
Theo stood up, went to the kitchen, found the sponge… and wiped. It was perfect. She checked the surface and ran her finger across.\n
“Hmm. Survived. For now.”\n
Then, Mom dramatically handed Theo a paper. He smiled while skimming it, then slowly, he frowned before handing it to me.\n
“I think I should go. I\u2019ll call you.”\n
He left. Just like that. I finally looked down at the letters she wrote in thick black marker.\n
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGTER\n
1. Have a job.\n
2. Understand I don\u2019t like you.\n
3. I am EVERYWHERE.\n
4. You make HER cry \u2014 I make YOU cry.\n
5. Be home 30 min early.\n
6. SHE is my PRINCESS. Not your conquest.\n
7. I don\u2019t mind going to jail.\n
$\"\"$ \n
Daugter. With a typo. That said it all.\n
“Mom, it\u2019s time for you to go.”\n
“Oh, sweetie, if he leaves at the first sign of trouble, is he even a man?”\n
“He didn\u2019t leave me. He said he\u2019d call.”\n
“Same thing.”\n
“Maybe he just didn\u2019t enjoy being around you?”\n
“You\u2019re overreacting.”\n
“You crossed the line, Mom! Please, leave. I want to be alone.”\n
Mom\u2019s words echoed in my head.\n
Has Theo really left… forever?\n
***
\nThree days passed. No texts. No calls. I caved and sent him a short message:\n
“I\u2019m sorry for how everything went. You didn\u2019t deserve that.”\n
Seen. No reply.\n
And then \u2014 a knock at the door. I opened it, my heart racing. It was him and he was there with flowers.\n
“Come on. I\u2019ve planned a date… for you and your Mom.”\n
I blinked. “What?”\n
“Just trust me.”\n
We picked up my Mom. She barely got in the car before starting her usual commentary.\n
“Where are we going? I have to defrost the freezer!”\n
“Surprise,” Theo smiled.\n
The first stop? His lecture.\n
Mom and I sat in the back. Theo stood in front of a class full of students, talking about love in literature.\n
“To be with someone doesn\u2019t always feel poetic. But it\u2019s always worth it.”\n
“Oh, I might fall asleep here,” Mom whispered.\n