{"id":104957,"date":"2024-12-25T10:43:57","date_gmt":"2024-12-25T03:43:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/?p=104957"},"modified":"2024-12-25T10:46:35","modified_gmt":"2024-12-25T03:46:35","slug":"christmas-was-coming-and-little-johnnys-mom-and-dad-took-him-to-see-santa-claus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/christmas-was-coming-and-little-johnnys-mom-and-dad-took-him-to-see-santa-claus\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas was coming, and Little Johnny\u2019s Mom and Dad took him to see Santa Claus"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Christmas was coming, and Little Johnny\u2019s Mom and Dad took him to the mall to see Santa Claus.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Johnny walked up and sat on Santa\u2019s lap and said,<b> \u201cSanta, for Christmas I want a bloomin\u2019 darn new baseball bat and I want it to be put under my bloomin\u2019 darn bed.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cI want a bloomin\u2019 darn new baseball glove, and I want it put under the bloomin\u2019 darn Christmas tree.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cAnd Santa, I want a bloomin\u2019 darn new bike and I want it put under a bloomin\u2019 darn tarp in the bloomin\u2019 darn shed.\u201d<br>\n<span style='\"font-size:'><img fetchpriority='\"high\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"aligncenter' size-full wp-image-104960 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/legendstitch.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/12%5C/Christmas-was-coming-and-Little-Johnnys-Mom-and-Dad-took-him-to-see-Santa-Claus.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"732\"' height='\"915\"' srcset='\"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Christmas-was-coming-and-Little-Johnnys-Mom-and-Dad-took-him-to-see-Santa-Claus.png' https: sizes='\"(max-width:'>\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Santa, in complete shock, pulled Little Johnny\u2019s parents aside and said, <b>\u201cIn all my years, I have never seen a little boy with such a foul mouth.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>His parents replied, <b>\u201cWe know, but we have no idea what to do about his behavior. We\u2019ve tried everything.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>Santa thought about it and said,<b> \u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019ll do to teach him a lesson, every place that Johnny asked for a present, we\u2019ll put a pile of dog poop.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>The parents agreed to try Santa\u2019s plan.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>On Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and immediately looked under his bed.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Seeing the pile of poop, he ran downstairs to the Christmas tree and checked underneath.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Finding another pile of poop under the tree, he ran out the door and threw open the shed door.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Finding a tarp in the shed, he quickly pulled back the tarp and found yet another pile of poop.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Johnny walked out of the shed and started looking all around the yard.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>After a while his parents asked him, <b>\u201cSo Little Johnny, what did you get for Christmas?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>Without missing a beat, Johnny looked at his parents and said,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cI think I got a bloomin\u2019 darn dog, but I can\u2019t find the bloomin\u2019 darn thing!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</b><p>Christmas was coming, and Little Johnny\u2019s Mom and Dad took him to the mall to see Santa Claus. Johnny walked up and sat on Santa\u2019s lap and said, \u201cSanta, for Christmas I want a bloomin\u2019 darn new baseball bat and I want it to be put under my bloomin\u2019 darn bed.\u201d \u201cI want a bloomin\u2019\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":104960,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-104957","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Christmas-was-coming-and-Little-Johnnys-Mom-and-Dad-took-him-to-see-Santa-Claus.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104957"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104957\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104962,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104957\/revisions\/104962"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/104960"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></b></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p>