{"id":104793,"date":"2024-12-24T11:53:01","date_gmt":"2024-12-24T04:53:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/?p=104793"},"modified":"2024-12-24T11:53:01","modified_gmt":"2024-12-24T04:53:01","slug":"the-drunk-makes-a-phone-call-on-christmas-eve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/the-drunk-makes-a-phone-call-on-christmas-eve\/","title":{"rendered":"The Drunk Makes A Phone Call on Christmas Eve"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>On Christmas Eve morning, a phone rings in the home of a liquor store manager.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cGood morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cWell,\u201d replies the manager politely, <b>\u201cWe\u2019re closed this Christmas Eve, so we won\u2019t be opening today.\u201d\n</b></b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cI see. Thank you for the information.\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><img fetchpriority='\"high\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"aligncenter' wp-image-104801 size-full src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/legendstitch.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/12%5C/The-Drunk-Makes-A-Phone-Call-on-Christmas-Eve.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"732\"' height='\"915\"' srcset='\"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/The-Drunk-Makes-A-Phone-Call-on-Christmas-Eve.png' https: sizes='\"(max-width:'>\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>On the next day, the phone rings early in the morning at the manager\u2019s home, and the voice on the other line asks with a somewhat less steady voice:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cGood morning sir, at what time \u2013 hic \u2013 d\u2019ya open?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cWell, today\u2019s Christmas Day, so we\u2019re closed today too,\u201d the manager replies, barely keeping the frustration out of his voice.\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cI schee, I schee,\u201d the voice replies.\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'>On Boxing Day, the phone rings once more. A slurring voice asks:\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cM\u2019goodschir, I wshjustwondering, when d\u2019ya open?\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cLook, I\u2019ve had enough of this. You\u2019ve called me on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day, and I told you that we\u2019re closed. Today\u2019s Boxing Day and we\u2019re definitely closed. But we\u2019re open as usual at 9 AM tomorrow, and don\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll be there personally to make sure that they won\u2019t let you in!\u201d\n</b><p><span style='\"font-size:'><b>\u201cLemmein? I don\u2019t wantcha to \u2013 hic! \u2013 lemmein. I wantcha to lemmeout!\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</b><p>On Christmas Eve morning, a phone rings in the home of a liquor store manager. The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone: \u201cGood morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?\u201d \u201cWell,\u201d replies the manager politely, \u201cWe\u2019re closed this Christmas Eve, so we won\u2019t be\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":104801,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-104793","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/The-Drunk-Makes-A-Phone-Call-on-Christmas-Eve.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104793"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104793\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104802,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104793\/revisions\/104802"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/104801"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/legendstitch.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p>