Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

“Why?” asks the father.

“The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2×3?’ I said, ‘6.’”

“But that’s right.”

“Then she asked me, ‘How much is 3×2?’”

His father asks, “What’s the f***ing difference?”

Johnny says, “That’s exactly what I said!”

The final exam for a class was scheduled from 8:00-11:00 AM At 10 AM, with one hour to go, Little Johnny walks in and asks for an exam:

The professor hands it to him but informs him that he still must finish within the hour or he will receive a zero and fail the course.

“That’s fine.” Said Johnny, and calmly took a seat and began the test.

At 11:00, Johnny had not finished the test. The professor asked for the exam to be turned in.

“No, thank you.” Said Johnny “I’ll finish it. “I’m going to my office to grade these If you don’t turn it in now, you’ll receive a zero. “Okay then.” Said Johnny.

At 1 PM, the professor heard a knock on his office door Not very much to his surprise, it was Johnny. “I’m here to turn in my exam.”

Said the student. “Sorry, you can’t turn it in now The deadline was two hours ago. “I understand I just thought it would be okay, you know, because of who I am.

“What do you mean?” Asked the professor.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Laughed Johnny

“Don’t you know who I am? ”At this point the professor became angry.

“It doesn’t matter who you are! You have to meet the same requirements as everyone else! Nobody gets special treatment! “Okay, okay, I get it But you really don’t know who I am? “I have no idea who you are! ”

At this moment, Johnny picks up the stack of exams, slips his into the middle and hands it back to the professor. “Have a great summer!” said Little Johnny, and left.

Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a belly-aching laugh, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated a collection of jokes and funny stories that are sure to brighten your day.

Boss: *Shouting* “Little Johnny come to my office right now…”
Little Johnny: “Yes sir”!
Boss : “Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. I have told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?”
Little Johnny: “Yes sir!, the customer is always right”.
Boss : “So what were you arguing about with that customer?”
Little Johnny: “He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir”!
Boss: “That bustard. What did u say to him?”
Little Johnny: “I told him he’s right

We hope you had a good laugh and enjoyed our funny story.

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand.
“My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.

Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.”
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”
Little Lucy went next.
“My dad owns a farm too.
Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator.
Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.”;
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
Next up was little Johnny.

“My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory.
He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer.
Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers.
He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets!
So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more.
Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
The teacher looked a little shocked.
After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
“Well,” Johnny replied, “Don’t fuck with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”

Laughter is contagious, and it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Remember to visit us often for your daily dose of mirth and entertainment. If you have any funny stories or jokes to share, don’t hesitate to reach out. Laughter is best when shared, and we’d love to hear from you.

We believe that laughter is the best medicine, and we’ve curated a collection of jokes and hilarious stories that will tickle your funny bone, brighten your day, and put a smile on your face.

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a hearty belly laugh, you’re in the right place. So sit back, relax, and get ready to unleash those endorphins with our side-splitting content.

Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” says his mom, “of course not.”
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”

Whether you’re looking for clean humor, puns, witty one-liners, or heartwarming stories that’ll warm your heart, we’ve got it all. So make sure to bookmark our page, share your favorite jokes with friends, and come back for your daily dose of laughter. Life’s too short not to laugh, and here at Laughter Hub, we’ve got your back.

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.”

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johnny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, “Then go fuck yourself.

The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, “Get yourself a new boyfriend.”

Stay tuned for more funny stories, witty quips, and everything in between. We believe in the power of laughter, and we’re here to remind you that a good laugh is just a click away.

Thanks for joining us on this laughter-filled journey!

Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a hearty belly laugh, you’ve come to the right place.

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger.
“How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said Little Johnny.
“That could be an interesting topic.But let me ask you a question first.”
“A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass.
The same stuff.

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?”
“Jeez,” said the stranger.
“I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said Little Johnny, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Our collection of jokes and funny stories is sure to brighten your day and put a smile on your face. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to embark on a laughter-filled journey.

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane…

Little Johnny’s Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
“Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,” said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.

The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
“Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

If you’re in need of more laughter, be sure to explore the rest of our page for a treasure trove of jokes and funny stories.

So Little Johnny’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it.
One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says “teacher, I’ll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is.”
She replies, “okay, meet me after class and we’ll settle it.” But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties.
After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess.
“Blue.”
“Nope. You got it wrong,” she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn’t wearing any underwear.
“Well come with me out to my dads car, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get you the money.” She follows him out.
When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
His dad exclaims: “That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he’d see your pussy before the end of the day!”

Remember, life’s too short not to laugh, so share these jokes with your friends and spread the joy. We’ll continue to update our collection, so come back soon for another dose of humor.
Thanks for visiting, and keep those smiles coming!

So grab your favorite beverage, find a comfy chair, and get ready to embark on a journey filled with humor, absurdity, and a healthy dose of belly laughs.

One day johnny’s mam asks the class, “Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?”
Suzi said, “Well, it’s our hands.
We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first.”
Teacher says, “very good. Anybody else?”
Rocky says, “Well, it’s our heart.

We think all the good things with our heart, so it’s bound to go to heaven first.”
Teacher says, “very good.
Do you want to say something, Johnny?”
Johnny says, “Our legs go to heaven first.”
Teacher, not getting any clue says, “How comes it, Johnny?”
Johnny says, “Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent’s room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming ‘Oh God!
I am cumming'”

Laughter is a universal language that unites us all, and in times of stress, it’s our most valuable ally. If you’re ever feeling down, remember that there’s a world of humor waiting for you right here.

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, “My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal.”
The second one says, “That’s nothing.
My Daddy can eat six.”
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, “My Daddy can eat light bulbs.”
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind.
They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, “Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, ‘Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'”

One day, Keep coming back for your daily dose of laughter, and don’t forget to share the joy with your friends and family. Because in the end, a good laugh is worth its weight in gold. 

For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.”

The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, “Son, where are you going?”
Little Joe told him: “I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!”

Thanks for visiting our humor haven, and we’ll see you on the lighter side of life!

Our collection of jokes and funny stories will tickle your funny bone and brighten your day. Whether you’re in need of a quick chuckle or a hearty laugh, we’ve got you covered.

Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.
Her reply is, “Gentlemen don’t ask ladies that question.”
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again the mother’s reply is, “Gentlemen don’t ask ladies that question.”

The boy then asks, “Why did daddy leave you?”
To this, the mother says, “you shouldn’t ask that” and then sends him to his room.
On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother’s purse.
When he picks it up, her driver’s license falls out.
The boy looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, “I know all about you now.
You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an ‘F’ in s*x!!!”

We hope you enjoyed our funny story as much as we enjoyed sharing it with you.

Teacher: “Johnny, write a sentence ending with the word hand.”
Johnny: “My penis in your hand.”
Teacher: “What?”
Johnny: “Sorry teacher, I forgot to put a space between pen is.”

Little Johnny’s father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what’s wrong.
“Oh, Dad,” Little Johnny sobs, “first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you’re about to tell me that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to believe in.”

Little Johnny- Laughter is a universal language, and we believe it’s one of life’s greatest gifts.

Little Johnny’s teacher said,
“Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s.”
Did you copy hers?, she asked.
Johnny replied, “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”

Our collection of jokes and funny stories aims to spread joy and bring a smile to your face. Feel free to explore the rest of our page for more hilarious content to brighten your day. And remember, a good laugh is the best way to make any day better. So, keep on laughing and spreading the joy!

Our collection of jokes and funny stories is here to brighten your day and lighten your mood. Whether you’re looking for a quick one-liner or a hilarious narrative, we’ve got it all. So sit back, relax, and get ready to unleash those hearty laughs!

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny replies, “HIJKLMNO”!
The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?”
Little Johnny replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!”

Whether you’re looking to share a joke with friends, need a pick-me-up after a tough day, or simply want to brighten your day, our collection of jokes and funny stories is here for you.

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting.
Later, he asked what “b i t c h” and “b a s t a r d” mean.
They explained that they mean “lady” and “gentleman.”
The next day, he overheard his parents having s*x.
He later asked what “p e n i s” and “v a g i n a” mean.
His parents explained that they refer to “hats” and “coats.”
At supper the next day, Little Johnny’s mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, “Oh f**k!” Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means “cut.”
A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner.
Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, “Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas we can’t wait to f**k the turkey!”

We hope that funny story brought a smile to your face! Laughter truly is the best medicine, and we’re here to provide you with a daily dose of humor.

Little Mary came back home after school and said,
“Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!”
The mother asked indignantly but in surprise,
“And how did this happen?”
“It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm.”

One day little Johnny with his aunt went to a zoo.
Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches length.
So he asked his aunt what was that.
His aunt responded: “That is nothing”

On the other month when he with his mother went to the zoo accidentally they met the same donkey with his long dick.
Johnny pointing to it said to his mother: “Mommi my aunt told me that it was nothing.”
His mother laughed and said: “My dear it is nothing for your aunt!”

Don’t forget to check back regularly for more laughs, and if you have your own hilarious tales to share, feel free to submit them.

Thank you for visiting, and remember, a good laugh can make any day better!

Laughter is the best medicine, and we encourage you to share these jokes and stories with your friends and family.

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks.
Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b.i.t.c.h.”

Whether you’re starting your morning with a chuckle or winding down in the evening with a guffaw, we hope these stories have left you with a smile on your face.! ! !

Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye.
His father sees it and says, “Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?” “But Dad, it wasn’t my fault.
We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt.
I reached over and pulled it out.
That’s when she hit me!”
“Johnny,” the father said.
“You don’t do those kind of things to women.”

Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny’s father said, “Johnny, I thought we had a talk!”
“But Dad,” Johnny said, “It wasn’t my fault.
There we were in church saying our prayers.
We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt.
Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out.
Now I know she doesn’t like this, so I pushed it back in!”

Come back for more doses of laughter and silliness, and remember, the world is a much brighter place with a good laugh. Thanks for visiting, and stay tuned for more hilarious adventures!

Life is full of ups and downs, but we believe that humor is a universal language that can make even the toughest days a little brighter. Welcome to our corner of jokes and funny stories, where we’ve gathered the best doses of laughter to tickle your funny bone.

Johny’s curriculum vitae:

1. Full name: John
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John

Our goal is to share the joy of laughter with you and brighten your day, one funny story at a time.

Laughter is a powerful elixir, and we encourage you to share these jokes and stories with your friends and family.

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable.
Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?
After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday.
Great Jane that has two syllables, Mon……day
Does anyone know another word.
I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny.
Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

Ok Mike, what is your word.
Saturday. says, Mike.
Great, that has three syllables.
Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says ” I know a four syllable word, pick me…..”
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, “O.K.
Johnny what is your four syllable word?”
Johnny proudly says, “Mas…tur…ba…tion.”
Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, “Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful”
No Maam, your thinking of blow job, and that’s only two syllables.

So, come back for more doses of humor, wit, and hilarity. The world is a brighter place when we can find a laugh in everyday moments.

Thanks for visiting, and stay tuned for more amusing tales and side-splitting humor!